I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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