Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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