I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
