Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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