Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
