I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
