pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
