It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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