it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
My balls are so social today.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
