Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Randomize