3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Still dying that you shit outside
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
