i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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