I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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