mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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