Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
You took a bar mat shot.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
