Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
