I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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