Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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