Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(815): View more from Illinois

I gave up sex with dolphins for you.

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(847): View more from Illinois

so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.

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(408): View more from California

New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.

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(574): View more from Indiana

Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.

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(334): View more from Alabama

She threw up in the hot tub how's your night

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(252): View more from North Carolina

I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.

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(865): View more from Tennessee

I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.

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