You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize
