So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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