You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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