What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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