Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
