Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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