So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
Randomize
