Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
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