Heybabeimwearingurpanties
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
