I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
