she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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