He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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