I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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