Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
