TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
