"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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