Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
