Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
