you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
