Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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