I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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