Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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