dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
