My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
