Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize