I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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