Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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