Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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