i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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