I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
