Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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