woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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