when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
