i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
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