Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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