I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
