we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
