Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
