I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
