you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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