come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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