I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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