I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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