When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My bed smells like the plague
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
