but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
